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Speak Up and Be a Good Neighbor

7/27/2010 5:03:37 PM

Neighbors can help families to recognize when their loved one is struggling to maintain day-to-day living. Homewatch CareGivers explores signals that an elderly neighbor may have mental or physical health problems and recommends strategies for getting them the support that they need.

Voicing Your Concerns

Often, families won't realize the mental or physical health condition of an aging loved because their visits are limited, or they live out-of-town. “Input from a neighbor who is more likely to notice shifts in day-to-day routines or quality of life can help family members to orchestrate the proper care”, says Lauren Watral, graduate from Duke University and founder of Raleigh Geriatric Care Management. Sometimes, the hints are subtle and fly under the radar. If you're concerned for an elderly neighbor's well being, there's most likely a very valid reason. Rather than "minding your own business", Homewatch CareGivers encourages family members and neighbors to open the communication lines and work together.

Signs Your Elderly Neighbor May Need Help

1. Has your senior neighbor stopped attending church or social activities; have they stopped participating in favorite activities such as gardening?

2. Is your elderly neighbor not completing routine household cleaning and yard work; Is garbage piled up; Does he/she seem too tired or overwhelmed to complete chores?

3. Are your senior citizen neighbor's clothes dirty, rumpled or inappropriate? Does your neighbor have an overall unkempt appearance or signs of poor hygiene?

4. Is your elderly neighbor unable to take in the newspaper or check mail on his or her own?

5. Is your neighbor acting strange (having strange conversations, talking to him/herself, exhibiting signs of confusion, showing signs of unreasonable fear, wandering)?

6. Does your neighbor's car have unusual scratches, dents, etc.? Does his or her driving appear hazardous?

7. Has your neighbor ceased to answer the doorbell or phone? Do they seem to be living in isolation?

All of these can be signs that your neighbor may be physically (or mentally) declining and simply no longer able to fully care for himself or herself due to the normal process of aging.

Approaching Your Elderly Neighbor

If you have suspicions that a neighbor may be in need of elderly care, it's important not to bombard them with worries and generosity, but to instead "investigate" further. Ask them how they're doing, and offer help with small tasks, such as grocery shopping or transportation to a doctor's appointment. As you evaluate their mental and physical health more closely, it's important to keep the family informed.

Approaching Your Neighbor's Family

“When you reach out to a family member with concerns, remember that they are probably unaware of the situation. Make yourself available when family is visiting for conversations that can lead to discussions about your concerns. Take the time to share your observations and be prepared with concrete examples. While it is important to be compassionate, do not minimize your concerns in order to protect your neighbor or the family member”, says Watral.

Remember: even if a family member lives in a neighboring county, they will not see the day-to-day activities that you do. The family of an individual who can no longer live independently will often be confused, worried, or even defensive upon initial contact — all because they will be unsure of where to turn. However, when a person can no longer live independently, a decision must be made about the best arrangements for their health and being.

While it’s difficult to discuss the issues of aging and elderly care, especially with family members other than your own, it will be worth the time and energy — especially if you foresee a dangerous or serious situation. “Friendly introductions and an offer to exchange email addresses and phone numbers as an emergency back up can go far in establishing an open non-threatening dialogue,” encourages Watral.

Homewatch CareGivers Can Help

If the family member is unsure of how to proceed, it may be helpful to offer solutions, or inform them of the benefits of in-home care services. Homewatch CareGivers offers personal assistance (help making meals, companionship and medicine reminders), daily living assistance (help bathing, dressing and grooming), and transportation assistance (help getting to doctor/medical appointments and running every day errands).

If your neighbor's family is unavailable or uncooperative, contact adult protective services, local police or the fire department.

More About Homewatch CareGivers

Homewatch CareGivers is a premier caregiver agency, providing home care for all ages. We invite you to visit www.homewatchcaregivers.com, where you can read articles related to home health, Dementia Care Tips and home care news; or download PDF home care resources. From health care coordination and hospital discharge planning to home care transportation and daily living assistance, let our family of caregivers care for yours.

Lauren Watral

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