November is National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month, and every year, I’m reminded how often families quietly face the uncertainty that comes with memory loss.
I’ve sat with families who have noticed the small changes, like a parent forgetting where they placed their keys (again), repeating the same question, or struggling to follow a conversation; and they’re unsure what to do next. Often, the hardest part isn’t noticing those signs. It’s talking about them.
Bringing up Alzheimer’s or dementia with loved ones can feel heavy, especially as we approach the holidays. But I’ve learned, through years of helping families in our Austin community, that the earlier those conversations happen, and the more they come from a place of love and respect, the better the outcome for everyone involved.
Start with Heart, Not Fear
The first thing to remember is that this isn’t a one-time talk, it’s an ongoing conversation.
It doesn’t need to start with, “I think something’s wrong.” It can start with care:
“I’ve noticed you’ve seemed more tired lately.”
“Let’s go over that list together, I’ll help you with the details.”
or
“I’ve seen a few things that concern me, and I want to make sure you’re feeling okay.”
The goal is to open the door, not to diagnose. Lead with empathy. Be gentle, but honest. Your loved one might not even realize what’s changing, or they might be scared to admit it.
When you show up with compassion instead of confrontation, it helps them feel safe sharing what they’re experiencing.
How the Holidays Can Reveal Subtle Changes
The holidays have a way of bringing things to light. When families gather, you might notice things you didn’t see during quick check-ins or phone calls:
- A loved one seems withdrawn or unusually quiet.
- They forget familiar names or mix up family members.
- They become overwhelmed by the noise and activity.
- They seem confused by long-standing traditions.
If you see these patterns, it’s okay to take note and talk about it later - privately and calmly. Don’t point it out in the moment or make them feel embarrassed. Instead, reflect afterward with another family member, or gently mention it in a caring way when the timing feels right.
Sometimes these changes are early signs of cognitive decline. Sometimes they’re just stress or fatigue. But noticing, acknowledging, and talking about them gives your family the chance to plan, and to get support sooner rather than later.
Invite Others Into the Conversation
When one person notices changes, it’s likely others have too; they just haven’t said it out loud.
Start by talking with close family members or friends who also spend time with your loved one. Share what you’ve seen without judgment and focus on your shared goal: helping the person you love stay safe, happy, and supported.
If you decide to talk with your loved one together, keep the tone gentle and unified. Avoid overwhelming them with too many voices or questions. Sometimes, one calm, trusted voice is all that’s needed.
And if the conversation feels too emotional, that’s okay. It’s emotional because it matters.
When It’s Time to Get Support
After that first conversation, many families wonder what to do next. That’s where we often come in.
At Homewatch CareGivers of Austin, we help families navigate this process - from spotting early signs to creating a care plan that feels supportive, not invasive.
It’s not about taking over. It’s about stepping in together. Whether it’s a few hours of companionship, daily help with routines, or simply someone checking in, we make sure your loved one feels respected and cared for.
The peace of mind that comes with knowing your loved one is safe and supported, that’s something every family deserves.
A Season for Grace and Gratitude
As we move through the holidays, I encourage you to focus on grace - for your loved one and for yourself. These conversations are not easy, but they’re acts of love.
Give yourself permission to ask for help. Give your loved one the dignity of inclusion. And give your family the time to adjust to what comes next.
At the end of the day, Alzheimer’s may change memories, but it doesn’t change love. And that love - steady, patient, and unconditional - is what guides every family through this journey.
If you’ve noticed changes in a loved one this season and aren’t sure how to start the conversation, our team is here to help. We’ll walk with you every step of the way.