The holidays are built on memories.
Familiar songs. Favorite foods. Traditions that seem to pick us up and carry us back in time for just a moment. For many families, these weeks are filled with warmth, laughter, and long-standing routines that feel comforting and familiar.
But when someone you love is living with dementia, the holidays can feel different.
As the owner of Homewatch CareGivers of Ellicott City, I speak with families every year who are navigating that tender mix of hope, love, grief, and uncertainty that this season brings. Many ask quietly, “How do we make this joyful when things don’t feel the same anymore?”
Joy is still possible. It just looks different.
Joy Doesn’t Have to Look Like It Used To
One of the hardest parts of the holidays with dementia is letting go of what used to be.
The long dinners.
The perfectly timed traditions.
The familiar conversations.
The shared stories that once flowed so easily.
Trying to recreate the “old” version of the holidays often leads to frustration, for both families and the loved ones they’re trying so hard to protect.
Instead of asking, “How do we make this exactly like before?”
A gentler question might be, “What feels calm and comforting right now?”
Joy doesn’t always come from big celebrations anymore. Sometimes it comes from a quiet moment at the kitchen table, a familiar song playing softly, or holding hands during a walk through the neighborhood lights.
The Power of Calm Over Chaos
Holiday gatherings can be overwhelming for someone living with dementia. Noise, crowds, unfamiliar faces, and fast-moving conversations can create confusion and anxiety, even when everyone around them is well-intentioned.
Many families find that:
• Smaller gatherings feel safer and calmer
• Shorter visits are more successful
• Quiet spaces help prevent overwhelm
• Simple routines bring comfort
This doesn’t mean the holidays are “less.” It just means they’re being shaped with love and understanding.
Let Them Be Part of the Moment in Simple Ways
Even when memory is fragile, connection still matters deeply.
Your loved one may enjoy:
• Sitting nearby while a meal is prepared
• Sorting napkins or ornaments
• Listening to familiar carols
• Holding a warm mug of cocoa
• Watching the room glow with lights
They don’t need to “keep up” with everything happening around them. Being present in small ways can be enough. And often, it’s those small moments that feel the most meaningful.
When Emotions Run High, It’s Okay to Pause
It’s also important to name the emotional side of this season.
Families often feel:
• Sad about what has changed
• Guilty for wishing things were easier
• Thankful that their loved one is still here
• Tired in ways that don’t go away with sleep
All of those feelings can exist at the same time.
If a moment becomes overwhelming, for you or your loved one, it’s okay to step away. It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to let a tradition go for this year.
Love isn’t measured by how much you push through. It’s measured by how gently you respond to what’s needed in the moment.
You Don’t Have to Carry the Season Alone
Many families caring for a loved one with dementia quietly carry the weight of the holidays on their own. They try to hold everything together for everyone else while their own hearts feel heavy.
Support doesn’t mean you love your family member any less. Often, it means you love them enough to make sure they’re safe, calm, and cared for, even when you’re tired.
Sometimes support looks like:
• Someone sitting with your loved one so you can run errands
• Help with routines that feel overwhelming
• Companionship during long winter days
• A steady, familiar face during busy weeks
And sometimes, the greatest gift support brings is relief, for the person receiving care and for the family giving it.
A Personal Word to Ellicott City Families
If you’re moving through the holidays with a loved one who has dementia, I want you to know this:
You are doing the best you can with a situation that isn’t easy. Your love still matters. Your presence still matters. And the care you give, even on the hard days, still matters deeply.
At Homewatch CareGivers of Ellicott City, our hearts are with families in this season. We believe care should never feel rushed, clinical, or cold. It should feel steady, familiar, and kind, especially during the holidays.
Joy doesn’t disappear when memory fades. It simply finds new ways to show up. And when you need support finding it again, we’re here. Get personalized care today.