Nancy Butler faced difficulties of her own when it came time to discuss an estate plan with her family--despite a career in financial planning and experience helping clients prepare their estate plans.
Ms. Butler’s stepfather had worked as a bank vice-president before he developed Alzheimer’s disease. His background in finance and symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease were a difficult combination when it came to agreeing on estate plans. “It was really hard,” Ms. Butler said. “I wasn’t even his daughter, but I had to ensure my mother’s financial security as well.”
Ms. Butler had been paying the premiums on her mother’s long term care insurance for many years. “I am glad I pushed for that,” she said. “My mother saw the process I went through with her husband, and how difficult it was, and that made it easier to deal with her.”
Ms. Butler said that unless someone has dealt with family care giving, long-term care, and the financial aftermath once they have passed away, most people are reluctant to address the vast issue of estate planning.
“We all know we’re going to die,” she said. “People don’t want to talk about it and they don’t want to think about it. Unless they have been around it, they don’t get it.”
Compounding the problem is waiting too long to discuss this important topic with one’s elderly parents. “The older people get, the more they get set in their ways,” she said. “They can’t handle a change in their daily routine, never mind how they want all their money managed.”
Ms. Butler, whose business is Above All Else®, Success in Life and Business, advises her clients that they need to consider how they want the last years of life to be literally spent. She said that people worry their money will all go to taxes, attorneys, and trusts, and then there won’t be anything left for them to live on.
“The first thing I would suggest is that they need one person to coordinate all the people on the team they will create,” she said. That team of professionals should include an elder law attorney, a Certified Professional Accountant, a financial advisor (one who is not also selling insurance), and a tax advisor. “You need one quarterback,” she said.
Another tip: Ms. Butler said that families need to consider that laws differ from state to state, and moving family to the same state can make financial and estate planning easier.
Good communication in advance can eliminate or reduce possible conflict between family members when a loved one passes away or can no longer make their own decisions. “I strongly advise my clients that estate planning should be a full family exercise,” said Jules Haas, an estate planning attorney. “Most of the litigation I see after a loved one passes is the result of family members who did not communicate with each other. For example, one sibling sometimes stays close to older parents while others move away and become less involved in what is going on with the family assets. This creates a scenario where one sibling becomes influential in major decisions about transferring property, managing investments and long-term care while parents are alive.”
And, Mr. Haas said people should not put off buying long term care insurance. “Long-term care insurance is an important tool to protect family assets if a loved one needs nursing care,” he said. “The last thing a family needs is a will frozen in probate court for years because an Assisted Living Community claims the family owes thousands of dollars in unpaid bills.”
The bottom line is that the best time to plan for the future is now.
A person who is living with arthritis may need more help in the home with every day tasks. Whether you are someone who is helping out a loved one who is living with the symptoms of arthritis or a professional caregiver, there are some ways to make this much easier for both of you.
We’ve created a new video to say, ‘Thanks!’ to all of the moms out there on Mother’s Day. Watch our video and maybe even share with your mom today.
As the needs of a loved one develop and shift, a volunteer caregiver may find themselves missing time at work and feeling increasingly stressed. Learn more about paid leave for family caregivers in your state.