Explaining, Excusing & Defending Your Loved One

Dementia Care Experts Who Can Help Your Prevent Embarrassing Your Loved One
Before June Fuerst was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, her husband
saw her so humiliated in a social situation that he took steps to ensure
that it never happened again.
“We were at a party and she kept repeating herself,” Frank
Fuerst, 80, recalled. “One guy thought he was being funny and imitated
her. She was so embarrassed that she wanted to leave, and we did.”
Mr. Fuerst, the author of “Alzheimer’s Care with Dignity,”
said that things have changed since then in terms of society’s knowledge
and understanding of Alzheimer’s disease. “If it were to happen
today, I would just walk over and say, ‘She has Alzheimer’s,” he said.
Mr. Fuerst, who was his wife’s in-home caregiver for 17 years, decided
to be proactive and told family, friends and professional colleagues about
his wife’s illness so that people would not ridicule her if she
behaved unusually. It also helped that they lived in a small community
and were a well-known couple because even the local grocery store clerks
would merely smile when Mrs. Fuerst would walk out of the market and forget
to pay for her groceries. “These were easy things to deal with,”
Mr. Fuerst said.
Essentially what Mr. Fuerst was doing was treating his wife with respect.
This is precisely what is recommended in the Homewatch CareGiver’s
Guide to Living with Dementia. Whether someone is in the early stages
of dementia or is too ill to communicate, they can still tell when they
are being respected.
The strange behaviors that can accompany dementia can range from embarrassing
to dangerous and it’s important for caregivers to remember that
their loved one may be fearful and frustrated.
Contact Homewatch CareGivers® to learn more about our trusted caregiving services.